Really, I don’t get the big deal about sandwiches

Man, fuck sandwiches.

For whatever reason, people on the internet love them some sandwiches. Jessica from Go Fug Yourself talks of them frequently. I remember the first time I heard about Twitter, it was framed as “hey there’s this service where people make short updates about sandwiches mainly!”

Yes, different varieties and combinations of vegetables, meat, condiments, and frequent though not necessary cheese between two slie of bread is quite a thing on the Internet. Mayo, turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, beef, provalone, pickles, mozzerella, mustard, onions, between rye, wheat, sourdough. Et cetera. Okay, I’m getting the point. Lots of good stuff, lots of different stuff.

Perhaps I’m unfairly prejudiced against sandwichs. But they’re just not that tasty to me. They get soggy, and spill out the sides, and just don’t come out right in my mouth.



See? The fuck am I going to take all those damn sprouts in my mouth at once? No mustard or anything, shit.

I just don't get it. All the component parts are there. Love meat. Love veggies. Love love love bread. Love condiments (particularly mayo). But together, it's just not that tasty to me.

I’m not saying I can’t get down with a grilled cheese every so often. But most of the time? No, thanks, stuff-in-bread. Whatever, sandwiches.

All photos from scanwiches

The verdict on cheesecake: awesome

I love cheesecake.

I don't generally like cheese that much, so I didn't start eating it until I encountered chocolate-dipped cheesecake on a stick at FloydFest last year.

Holy shit it was delicious. It was a fucking party in my mouth. Since then I've been getting it every once in a while, when Food Lion has it on sale or when it's not too expensive on the menu.


I've also been getting into baked brie, which I can actually make myself. Cut it in half, slap some kind of jelly in the middle and on the top, cover in pastry dough. Oh baby oh baby.


The above is called South-African Rose Baked Cheesecake. I don't know what that tastes like, but I want to. It is here because it is on Wikipedia and looks delicious.

Yum. I've been on a stupid diet for a while, so I've been avoiding it. But my period has a way of making me realize that diets are stupid and sugar is delicious, so I had cheesecake and chocolate ice cream for breakfast today.

Another great thing about cheesecake is that it's a dessert my boyfriend likes. Usually he's not much of a sweets person, but he too loves cheesecake and ice cream, so I don't feel like a lonely fatass. (Not that I should feel like a fatass, because that is a perjorative and blah blah feminism blah blah, but that's how I feel).



This is me, after writing this essay.